you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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