i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
