halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
