I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize