why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
