I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Randomize
