According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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