East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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