hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
