dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
