The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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