He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
