my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
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