I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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