Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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