What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
