I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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