Small penises have feelings too.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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