We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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