life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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