he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
