I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
