I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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