On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
