like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
