The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
