fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
