She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
