How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
