Where is the hickey?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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