the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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