Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
