She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
