My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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