I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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