Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Houston, we have a blender
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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