he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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