dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
