Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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