Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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