I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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