In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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