You just made me feel so damn special
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
