So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
