I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
