R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
