Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
the day after is always just damage control
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
