Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
