She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
