did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
