Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
