True but thats because hes a fetus.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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